Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My penis needs a shock collar
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
