I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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