So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
