She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
