it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
