Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
