For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
