this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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