we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize