big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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