u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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