loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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