She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
