Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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