bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
