The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
