We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
