I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just had sex on a roof
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
