How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
