your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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