Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
