they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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