dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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