I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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