MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
