he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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