exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
