I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize