i already hear my dad disowning me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
