It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
