i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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