capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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