...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Randomize
