i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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