now i know why i became what i already was.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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