sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
