The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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