I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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