btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
