think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
