You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
