can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
