I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
