Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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