Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
