Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
