I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
