No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
