so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
