Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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