We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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