Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
