I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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