Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
