My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
