i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
