he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
