If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
