Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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