so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
