if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
