Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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