Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
