I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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