Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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