I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
