dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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