i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize