i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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