i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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