Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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